Years ago my friend Dan called and needed a 4th. In agreement I asked who’s playing.
“Me and 2 friends from work” he replied.
I knew one of his buddies but not the other.
“He’s pretty tall” Dan casually mentioned.
I was warming up the old flat stick when Dan’s Oldsmobile Intrigue pulled in (remember that one?). Viewing the passenger side all I saw was body. Dan was eclipsed.
His passenger gradually unfolded from the vehicle. Slowly he emerged until half his body was above the car roof. He was a backup center for the great Villanova basketball teams of the 1980s. 7’ 2”, 310. I dropped my putter.
Dan and Goliath loaded their bags and walked to greet me. My hand disappeared into the center’s catcher’s mitt of a paw. Straight ahead was his belt buckle. Did oxygen really exist up there?
“I gotta see his clubs” I thought to myself. His driver was longer than a fishing rod and his putter was taller than me! “Will he fit in the cart?” another thought came to me.
He tried legs first but that was impossible. Head first – no room for the legs. So gradually he slid his rear across the seat followed by a rather graceful shoulders and hips/legs entry. It looked like he had just blocked out Georgetown’s Patrick Ewing from the 1984 title game.
During his address, even with greatly lengthened clubs, this guy’s torso was nearly parallel to the ground. The swoosh from his practice swings sounded like a prop from a wind turbine. Even his tees were long!
His shoes? Size 22, custom made by Footjoy, regaled in ‘Nova colors.
He bellowed his tagline “You know what they say about guys with big feet? Big feet, big shoes!” ala Cowboy Curtis from Peewee’s playhouse.
His swing was actually fluid for a construction crane. With the extension back and through the ball flew nearly 300 yards at times. As I recall be broke 90. Not bad for Shaq on steroids!
Fairway Follies, Joe Hinson 